How To Gain A Woman's Trust

From Jake Vandenhoff,

When you're doing online dating, it's very important that the women you talk to feel that you are a good guy who they can trust, and not some sketchy weirdo. Otherwise they won't feel right about meeting up with you even if you have other attractive qualities.

So, if you want to excel at online dating you need to learn how to gain a woman's trust quickly. Today I'm going to show you a simple formula for building trust that will save you a ton of time and effort.

This technique is very effectively, so before we go on there's something I must make abundantly clear. I'm sure that YOU are already clear on this, but just in case anyone is confused... Never ever use this formula for evil, and never take advantage of a woman's trust!

Okay, Lets proceed...

The way you get a woman to trust you is by showing her your own vulnerability.

This shows her that you're a real person, and that you're going to be honest with her about who you are. It's the opposite of bragging, which as we all know comes off as very inauthentic.

So, let her in on a couple of your fears, concerns, problems or weaknesses. By doing this, not only are you being honest, but you are coming across as GENUINE.

And all people, male and female, trust in what we perceive to be genuine or AUTHENTIC.
Now obviously you don't want to go overboard telling a girl all kinds of bad stuff about yourself. Just mention small quirky things about yourself. Maybe you just put on 20 lbs. and you're feeling a little fat, or maybe you just finished grad school and you're concerned that you picked the wrong career.

Everyone has several small flaws to pick from, so it should be easy to find a couple good ones. I for example have a uni-brow that I need to trim all the time, I'm going bald, and I have bad skin, so I've got three insecurities right there.

Now what happens after you've exposed your minor vulnerability to your girl is really, really cool. Chances are she's gonna tell you that your flaw isn't a bad thing and that she has similar issues. (I can't count how many girls I've told that I wished I could grow some hair, only to have them caress my dome and tell me how sexy my bald head is)

Then you can listen and be supportive while she talks about her vulnerabilities. Talk like this bonds the two of you and quickly builds trust.

Now in order to make this formula work effectively, you need to know when and how to utilize it.

How to use: The key to telling girls about your flaws is to do it in a natural authentic way... Saying, "I have bad skin and I feel really vulnerable about it... hold me," sounds fake and contrived. Instead say, "Yeah this zit on the tip of my nose is driving me freaking crazy, They always told me I'd outgrow my acne, y'know! What's up with that?"

Don't make it sound like a sympathy plea. Let it come out naturally. In some cases you can wait until the girl discloses a vulnerability first, and then tell her that you deal with the same thing.

When to use: Avoid talking about your flaws in the body of your online dating profile. That's just too much self disclosure too soon. And remember, part of what creates the bond of trust between you and your girl is that you're sharing these vulnerabilities with her alone, not with everybody who reads your profile.

Instead, wait till you get her sending you emails, and even then, start small. For example, you could start by telling her that you're waiting to get your results from the bar exam and you're pretty sure you failed. Then later when you're on your date you can break out the big guns, like telling her how your big sisters called you bubbles because you used to fart in the bathtub.

It doesn't matter how attractive women find you, if they don't trust you they'll slam on the breaks. So be sure to use this formula to build trust and make women feel comfortable doing what they already want to do... YOU!

What Women Do Not Want

From Daryl Chamber,

"On online dates, women are much, much more disappointed than men. Women put more stock in the virtual dating world because they seek a soul mate, whereas men are typically after a more casual relationship."

That's according to Michael Norton formally of the Harvard Business School. A couple of years ago Norton along with two of his colleagues conducted a study and came to a number of conclusions.

As he tells Jeanna Bryant of Live Science, "Because people so much want to find somebody, we find that they read into the profile. They kind of see that person as a good match for them, and that they have a lot in common. And when they finally meet in person, they find out it's just a regular person like everybody else. They end up being disappointed again."

There are other reasons why women turn out to be disappointed which should not be overlooked

1. Pride Out Of Control

Women love men that exude self confidence. They do not like men that are full of themselves. Yet they meet plenty of those types when it comes o online dating. Any give and take conversation inevitably works its way back to the center of the universe; namely him. She should be honored he deems her worthy to chat with him.

2. Quiet and Proud Of It

Offline or on communication ranks as one thing women feel is essential to a relationship. So trying to get some conversation going with a guy who fancies himself the strong silent type is a frustrating experience for many women. She's sharing and more than willing to do so. He is not which in the final analysis is not going to work.

3. Another Notch In Your Belt

Women are very good at telling when a guy is on the make. When they meet someone online who starts the sexy talk almost immediately she knows he is not looking to build a relationship. He's looking for a conquest.

Test Your Perfect Match

Pick Up Women on the Internet the Easy Way

From Cam Langdon,

Picking up women on the Internet through online dating services is as easy as falling off a log. All you have to do is climb up on the log in the first place.

Of all the online dating tips for men that have been espoused by Internet dating gurus and experts over the last few years, few have addressed the fundamental issue of why men delay the actual process of starting their Internet love-lives.

In fact, the initial stimulus for a man to contemplate online dating as a means of meeting women is often the number one hurdle to dating success. In other words, guys read volumes of online dating tips for men, and all kinds of advice on dating in general, but they never actually get around to signing up with an online dating website to get the ball rolling.

What these procrastinating men need to realize is that online dating is now such a normal part of everyday society. Millions of men and women are now using this forum to pick up members of the opposite sex in larger numbers than ever before.

Unfortunately, these will-I-or-won't-I guys are probably hanging out with men who have found their own women in traditional arenas – bars, parties, etc. These so-called friends mock online dating as a venue for losers who cannot make it in the real world.

However, men can take heart from some encouraging statistics that show more and more relationships between men and women – be it for long-term arrangements leading to marriage, or just flings and casual sex between consenting, mature adults – have much better chances of succeeding than those formed offline.

Why is this so?

Research into specialist articles and studies focusing on online dating tips for men have shown that guys using the Internet to meet women have quite often been through the mill before. They may have experienced long-term relationships that have ended bitterly. Usually a nasty and expensive divorce with the wife taking everything.

Now, these men have endured some relationship pain, no doubt. However, they remain men with male sexual needs and a desire for female company. As long as they haven't written off all women as evil creatures, they will very often turn to the Internet to try their hand at online dating.

Again, why?

The answer is amazingly simple: men have the chance to carefully peruse and browse many thousands of female profiles before they take the big step of asking a woman out on a date. They are under absolutely zero outside pressure. These men make every decision about whom to date themselves – without advice from well-meaning friends and relatives.

How often have people hooked up and formed long-term relationships or even gotten married because they found themselves in social or family situations that they didn't have the nerve to back out of? Plenty, that's how many.

But, with the widespread acceptance of the Internet and online dating as an industry – and also as a lifestyle – men can meet women much more easily than they could in the past.

After all, what could be easier than sitting in the privacy of your own home, clicking links and browsing profiles of compatible women waiting for the right guy to make his approach. It's simpler than summoning up courage in the "real" world to approach a woman in a bar, for instance. At its most fundamental – women who use online dating sites are there for one reason and one reason only: to meet men.

Gentlemen, the time to act is now.

My Perfect Match

Why You Can't Approach Women Online With Cheap Lines

From Chris Tyler,

If you have any female friends who have accounts on social networking sites like Facebook or on any one of the many dating sites that are available online, then I'm sure you've probably heard some pretty funny stories about the lengths some men go to in order to try and get a hook up or a date.

And if they have pictures up and allow comments, then I'm sure you have seen that almost every guy who makes a comment pretty much says the same thing. If that is the way that you approach online dating and you expect to get some pretty phenomenal results, you are probably going to be pretty disappointed.

You can't use cheap lines and generic compliments if you are going to do well attracting women online. You shouldn't even be trying that out in real life, but that's another story.

Why can't you approach women online with a cheap line?

Because they have time to sit back and take it in without anything else guiding their feelings and their thoughts. After all, it is just words on a screen. So, while you may be able to make a woman laugh using your body language or facial expressions delivering a cheap line in a club, you don't really have that luxury when you are just putting words up on a screen.

One of the most important things that any guy can do in any situation where he wants to make a good impression on a woman and get a date out of it, is to stand out in some way. Do yourself a favor sometime and go to the profile of one of the prettiest women you know and take a look at what most guys leave as a comment on their pictures. It should be pretty clear that almost every guy is saying the same thing and hoping that it makes them stand out in some way.

Of course, it doesn't.

You can't approach a woman online with a cheap line because you want to be a little more creative than most. Before you do that, though, you also want to gain a little rapport with her. So, instead of doing the generic compliment or the cheap line... think of something creative or humorous to break the ice with her. Get her talking back and forth so that it's not just you sending her compliment after compliment.

Once you have a decent amount of rapport going with her, once you have made her laugh a little, then you can send her a compliment. By doing it that way, it will take on a different meaning. Instead of being just another bloke with a comment like, "Wow you look good," you will be a guy who she wants to hear a compliment from and it will mean more. Just don't over do it at that point.

Perfect Match

Men, Do Not Beg Online, Rather Offer Value

From Frank N Fr,

You know the phrase, beggars can't be choosers?

It dates back over 450 years and it's as true today as it was back then.

And it is ESPECIALLY TRUE for online dating – for men.

Attractive women receive volleys of emails from guys – and if your initial letter or your profile has even a WHIFF of begging  – or attention, for approval or for a date, — you are sunk.

As well you should be.

In everything I write, I show you how to reframe your thoughts, your communications, your actions and your body language to demonstrate that you are not "needy" but rather the SOURCE OF VALUE.

The "energy" that you give off – in your words, actions and body – should be solidly in the camp of radiating value outward… and not hoping to bring energy inward.

You must reverse the power balance online that attractive women feel – by employing very specific POWER REVERSAL TECHNIQUES.

Let me give you an example of what I mean, by turning neediness into offering…

BEGGING EXAMPLE #1:  NEED VS OFFERING

One guy opens his profile:

"I have moved to North Hollywood. I'm searching

for something.. I'm just not sure what or where…

Happiness is on the top of my list"

He is saying, basically, I AM NOT HAPPY.

While that is very honest, a virtue in Los Angeles, he is communicating, "I AM INCOMPLETE, I NEED COMPLETION. SOMEBODY HELP ME"  This is a subtle begging for a female savior.  Most women prefer men who aren't searching for happiness, but rather, create it by choice…

Compare this profile opening…

"A true rebel to the end, I'm steeped in equal
parts of earth and heaven. I navigate the stars
and make it work here on the ground. Add in:
high intellectualism, strategic problem solving,
trail running, Maori warrior chanting at breakfast,
compassion, a deep love for humanity, and
occasional shamanic healings for street people.
I enjoy creating culture through art and music
events as well as making some myself…Socially
I'm very easy to get to know, and I love meeting
people, but it still will take a special lady to match
this catch. I'm super playful. Characters welcome…
I am a true artist with strong loving arms to cradle
you."

"A true rebel to the end, I'm steeped in equal

parts of earth and heaven. I navigate the stars

and make it work here on the ground. Add in:

high intellectualism, strategic problem solving,

trail running, Maori warrior chanting at breakfast,

compassion, a deep love for humanity, and

occasional shamanic healings for street people.

I enjoy creating culture through art and music

events as well as making some myself…Socially

I'm very easy to get to know, and I love meeting

people, but it still will take a special lady to match

this catch. I'm super playful. Characters welcome…

I am a true artist with strong loving arms to cradle

you."

This isn't a man who needs a woman to complete him.  He's not begging.  He's CHALLENGING HER.

Look at all the active verbs:  he NAVIGATES, he SOLVES he LOVES while asking for nothing in return, he HEALS street people (ok, I don't know what that even means, but still, he's radiating value OUTWARD to others without asking for anything in return), and he challenges her to be worthy of him and – smart guy – offers strong arms to cradle her.

He is even REWARDING.

He has no need in his profile – only offering.  Offering of strength, of love, or tenderness, of strength.

How can you REVERSE the power in your profile so that a woman does not feel like you are begging for help or completion, but rather OFFERING value as a man?  Not as a way to win women, but, as this writer did, as your natural state of being.

My Perfect Match

How To Meet Up With A Woman WITHOUT Calling Her

From Christope Y,

Did you know there's a way to meet up with women from the Internet, without even talking to them on the phone?

It's true!

Times have really changed and with that; how you communicate with women has changed.

Remember the old days when everyone mostly spoke on land lines and texting hadn't really become popular yet?

Sure you do! When it comes to meeting women online... here's how it usually went:

• You email a woman who you really dig on an online dating site.
• Hopefully she emails you back, then you start a dialogue back and forth via emails. This could last a few days to a few weeks.
• At some point, it's time to get her phone number so you ask for it. She gives it to you and then you agonize on when to call her and dread having to leave a message on her "machine."

Remember those days? Sure you do!

Everyone had an answering machine and most women would never answer their phone putting pressure on you to come up with a "clever" or "funny" message to leave on her machine.

Well, those days are LONG GONE!

And isn't that a relief!

Instead of answering machines women have voice-mail associated with their cell phones.

"Well, don't I have to leave a message on her voice-mail?" You may be asking.

No, and the reason is because you're NOT going to be calling her on the phone at all!

How is that possible?

One word: TEXTING!

What a wonderful invention it is!! Ever since texting became the norm a few years back, talking on the phone became a thing of the past!

I don't know about you but I very much dislike talking to women on the phone because, in some cases, it would go on for hours!

Now I don't even worry about that because all I do is text them, saving me hours and hours of needless chatter on the phone.

It's a great thing!

Texting has totally changed the game!

Now the script goes a little like this:

• You email a woman online.
• She emails you back and you exchange a couple more messages.
• Then you send her your standard "get the number" email and she immediately gives it to you.
• From that point on you have moved things to text and then you start building more attraction using texts. This REALLY gets her going and wanting to meet you!
• Finally, you agree on a time and place to meet up via text and then you've already sealed the deal!

She will almost NEVER say no because you're highly skilled in the art of "text flirting" which has her dying to meet you!

That's how it is now!

I can't even remember the last time I spoke with a woman on the phone prior to meeting up with her in person. It simply doesn't happen anymore!

No more leaving stupid messages on her machine!

No more having to practice a script and recite it just in case she does answer the phone!

Now I can take my time and come up with awesome texts that build rock solid attraction! I'm telling you, this has dramatically changed Online Dating and my success rate has gone through the roof!

So if you're still chatting with women on the phone, my question to you is simply... why?

You don't have to and you shouldn't even be calling her!

There's a better way and I suggest you learn how to do it.

My Perfect Match

Online Dating Tips For Single Women - Don't Reveal Too Much About Yourself

From Alexandra Scott,

Single women seem to be finding themselves joining online dating sites now more than ever. 

 Because of this, there are some online dating tips for single women that you might want to become aware of.

You probably will feel a little rush of excitement when you first sign up for an online dating site and you will want to get started right away building your online dating profile. This is a natural way to feel, as you are eager and filled with anticipation about meeting the RIGHT guy.

You just always want to remember that you don't want to reveal TOO much about yourself.

This is important for two reasons. The first one of course, is for your personal security. Putting yourself out there to meet someone is a good step if you want to attract a man that you can fall in love with. However, if you reveal too much about yourself, it's out there for anyone to see, really.

So, when you build your profile and you are trying to think of things that you can say about yourself, keep a filter on what you are willing to reveal to a perfect stranger.

The second reason for why this is important, is because you want to ATTRACT and INTRIGUE a man, not give him your whole life story right up front. If you DO reveal too much about yourself before you even get talking with a guy, then where is the incentive for him to want to get to know more about you?

When you are signing up for an online dating site, you have to keep your wits about you for both your safety, and for doing the RIGHT things to attract a man and make him want to meet you and get to know more about you.

After all, an online dating site is just a new medium to meet someone, not a replacement for two people getting to know each other.

My Perfect Match